Wednesday, 7 April 2021

I'm So Lost I Don't Even Have Time To Complain About a Male OC Hanging Around With The All-Female Cast

Love Live is a pretty okay anime attached to some decent songs, starring a group of nine girls becoming school idols for school-related reasons. Also vague yuri undertones. But I feel like there's something missing from these slice-of-life shows that exist to sell CD's. Something a bit... grittier... maybe more magical in nature? Luckily, a kind soul has it covered. Love Live School Idol Project - The Chaotic Rider by Blackblur143, tells us this;


Darion Arisaka living normal life has intense hardships and also struggled a lot in his life especially when transferring to Otonokizawa High slight of miracle occurred. Darion also receives the gift of a unique spirit of vengeance himself Rath of Pride...This is their story and we will learn more about what to come to the present...


Which should be all you need to know about the premise of this story, really. That said, I suppose I do have a question or two. Like, what is a slight of miracle? What's this about a spirit of vengeance? What is a Wrath of Pride? I, uh, guess I'll just have to read and find out.


I started off viewing the old Tokyo...been a year since I been here I wonder how are they are doing...It was something else over there in America


If that sentence makes no sense to you, worry not, I'm clueless as to what's going on, too. It's the first sentence of the story (not counting a POV indicator and something about a captain's ship) and it has established that... uh...well, that a year has passed for this guy.


I was struggling but it was alright after all facing Leon...and losing him to a martial arts tournament over there causing us to be in a draw between us heh he's sure improved hmm...


I guess Leon sure did improve, beating you in a fight, thus leading to a draw...?


"Hmm?" I asked looking at my phone "...Look over the bridge...?" I asked reading a message from Umi saw her with Honoka and Kotori "...Well then," I said smirked as our ride slowly heading off to their location port as I had my eyes closed meditating for a bit feeling understanding of the past...


Oh hey, Love Live characters! Forgot what setting this was supposed to be in, there. Also how does one feel an understanding of the past? Can I learn this ability, it feels like a required skill for this story.

-Flashback time to... childhood in general I suppose!-


I was running off in the park annoyed "Why does she keep following me!?" I yelled annoyed looked at Honoka growled "Darion!" Honoka yelled, "What do you want Honoka?!" I yelled annoyed "Let's be friends!" Honoka yelled, "No why should I!?" I yelled


I feel like there's a lot of annoyed yelling going on. Is anyone else seeing all the annoyed yelling?


 "I don't want you to endure the pain alone!" Honoka yelled "...?" I asked confused


How does that constitute an actual question, I queried baffled.


"...I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS DARION!" Honoka yelled stared at me as I growled looking away till felt her hug from behind as I was shocked eyes widened for a bit...


What's with this Darion fellow constantly growling? Feels a wee bit rude.

-Let's ignore Kotori and Umi showing up so we can skip to middle school-


"Like you care Kotori-san now let me continue working," I said practicing alone "...FINE IF YOU WANT TO GET YOURSELF KILLED THEN I DON'T CARE!" Kotori yelled throwing her necklace into the trash


uh shit did i skip too far the hell is this all about

Seriously though, this comes immediately after the scene shifts to 'middle school'. The lack of context is not helpful.


"I WANT THE DARION-KUN I ADMIRE BACK CAUSE YOUR NOT HIM AND BEING IDIOT! I HATE YOU DARION-KUN!" Kotori yelled *SLAPPPEDD* and took off running away as I groaned clutching my cheek (K-Kotori strike me in the face!?) I thought shocked


I'd be shocked too if you could make this girl slap you in anger:

"YOUR NOT HIM AND BEING IDIOT! I HATE YOU DARION-KUN!""

"...As much you don't like it Darion but who been there for you most of the time when Honoka and Umi were busy?" Terios asked stared at me as I was silent 

 

Oh, hello, didn't see you there. Who the hell are you? Terios isn't getting an explanation, are they?


"...She's not wrong your not training all your doing is setting yourself up into failure" Terios said as I clenched my fist a little glaring down...

 

What is he even training for please tell me I don't understand.


"KOTORIIIII!" I yelled enraged trying to catch her as Chaotic Nightwatcher she gasped as I dashed tackled her turned crashed down on the hard floor as laughed "YOU LOST CHAOTIC NIGHTWATCHERRR!" yelled as I glared down "HOW ABOUT YOU ROTT IN HELL!" I yelled spinning firing a giant green beam of light eradicating Spiligton into ashes burned away...


I... uh... that combination words comes immediately after that previous sentence. I am so, so lost and maybe a little scared now. How do I even begin to parse this event? Darion is now this 'Chaotic Nightwatcher' person... shoving Kotori away from... I guess Spiligton? Spiligton wanted to kill Kotori for some reason? Also magic happens.


Seriously what did I just read?!

-And so... sigh. Chaotic Nightwatcher flies Kotori off to wherever Honoka and Umi are-


flew off looking for Honoka and Umi landed to them then glared up at the machine glowing "...Someone has to stop it" I said sweatdrop


????????????????????????????????


"You will never make it!" Honoka yelled "I gotta try," I said smirked floated up weakly "NIGHTWATCHERRR!" Umi yelled as I got blasted getting fired on...


Uh I guess that's a shame for him but seriously what the fuck is going on.


I was weakened out of my suit trying to shut down the machine throwing a mini energy sphere inside of it as Kotori raced over with Umi and Barry "H-Hang on Darion!" Barry yelled


AND WHO IN THE NAME OF SNOW HALATION IS BARRY


"Agh..." I said as we all got out of time... "I'm sorry Kotori...looks like Chaotic Nightwatcher passed on..."


So the absolutely nothing I have been able to discern is that Darion is a... I hesitate to call him a superhero, but y'know. His identity is a secret, and I guess he had a special suit to hide it, but now he's out of the suit... after being blasted by this random machine... right in front of everyone else. Did they not notice him falling out or something?


"...D-Darion!?" Honoka yelled "...Heh...I took too much damage..." I said tiredly "D-Darion-kun don't leave us!" Kotori yelled "...I-I'm so sorry! I forgive you don't leave me too!" Kotori yelled "...DARIONNNNN!" Umi yelled as silence engulfed the area...


And with that... er, emotional finish, we move forward another year. But still within the realm of a flashback. I think. Why is this even a flashback when there's so many jumps in time anyway?


"...WHA?!" I yelled sweatdrop looked at Kotori "...Uhh, you okay Kotori-chan?" I asked sweatdrop "Memory wipe!?" Umi yelled 


Can everyone please stop yelling sweatdrop you're all right next to each other sweatdrop.


"Are you always so loud?" I asked looked at Honoka sweatdrop


I like this line because in this whole paragraph, which started with the above sentence and then had this Barry guy exposit that Darionj now has amnesia, Honoka has yet to say a word.


(Darion?) Terios thought (Yes Terios?) I thought sweatdrop then (Focus and let your mind feel the energy flowing inside of you) Terios thought as I was confused but did what he says when I'm alone at night...


This amnesia just so happens to wipe his memories of the girls - the characters we actually know - but he still seems to remember Terios, who as far as I can tell is just a voice in his head? I'm starting to think this has no business being a Love Live fanfiction at all.


"...Arrgghhh," I said groaning in pain but stared at myself confused "Ah shit Kotori and everyone!" I muttered, "Yeah I'm moving away...for a year damn it..." I said annoyed as time goes on...


Oddly specific amount of time. Why move away at all? Aren't you always annoyed as time goes on?

-And then I guess he fights with this Leon guy over and over until the present day. I sure am glad we get to learn about all these wonderful OC's. Anyways, he disembarks from the boat I guess he was riding on-


as I nodded looked at Honoka running towards me "D-Darry-kun!" Honoka yelled "OW! J-Jeez...Demanding Queen still same as ever eh?" I asked "...I hate you" Honoka said hugging "...Yep" I said sighed but smirked


Awkward reunions are awkward. I'll skip over most of this paragraph, but I must ask how they knew to meet when he's had zero contact with them all year? Umi even knew when to message him as he was travelling on that boat and everything.


 "...Darion...you baka...


IF ONLY ENGLISH HAD A WORD THAT WAS EQUIVALENT TO THIS STRANGE ENIGMATIC EXPRESSION UNIQUE ONLY TO JAPAN

And then they have a big group hug. By the way, Barry's there again. Why does he keep suddenly popping up in the middle of scenes and pretending he was always present?


*AT NIGHT*

"Darion are you ready?" Terios asked as I adjusted my gloves "Yeah what's in our pay raise this time?" I asked smirked looking around the city as red icons popped on my screen


What's in your... wha? Do you even understand what a pay raise is?


"...Well since we been gone for a year not many big things happened though there are some yakuza and gangs that need to be clean up" Terios said "Well then let's get to work" I said jump down glowing red and took off on a motorcycle glaring down...


Well have fun fighting crime, Batman. I'll, uh... go back to watching a show about a group of girls singing songs and doing school stuff, I guess.


Well, that's the end of that chapter, and... hoo boy. I feel like the issues are glaringly obvious here, but let me just ask one question. Why oh why do these fanfics always choose the most unfitting settings for their strange high fantasy things? Of all the anime in the world, you thought Love Live was the one that needed some super-powered vigilante MC that fights giant machines, unseen villains, and... according to what I skimmed and saw, human traffickers?! It's... it's okay to write original fiction, you don't have to jam this square peg into a brick wall. Trust me, as a bad writer that tries to shoehorn needlessly dark elements into light-hearted scenarios, some elements just do not mix.


Nico Nico Nii~

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