Wednesday 23 October 2019

When the Cicadas Cry Out "Dear Sweet Jesus What"

This'll probably be hilarious to imagine nowadays, but the Higurashi anime was probably the first anime to actually unnerve me a little, by the end of it's first arc. Watching everything slowly go to shit around Keiichi was a hell of a time, I tell ya what. Then I read some manga arcs and they had some creepy pages going on, too. Hell, when I got around to the original sound novels, thinking I was too toughened up to be caught off-guard, BAM! Nude Satoko sprite out of nowhere to traumatise me.

Let's just say that Yandere-hen THE CONTINUATION by YuuyaKizami21 doesn't quite reach that same level of creepy atmosphere. Or tragedy. Or nuance.

Keiichi was held captive by Rena for long. It is time for him to escape. Sequel to Higurashi No Naku Kori Ni: Yandere-Hen. Yandere Rena x Keiichi. Bad summary, rated T for Yandere. Multiple endings.

Nice and simple, I suppose. Evidently, this is a sequel to a previous story by this author. I started with the sequel because I saw it first and I'm just hardcore like that.

Multiple endings though, huh? Can't wait to see how that turns out, I guess.


I've lost track of time. I've lost track of how long I was within that psychopath, who killed all of my friends... Only because they were just hugging me that day.

So Mion, Shion, Rika and Satoko all felt the need to hug you on the same day, huh? Wonder if this includes other pals like Oishi. Or maybe Chie.


She said that they were 'Lewding' over me, trying to take me away from her. She even raped me a few days after I got kidnapped, and she called my friends hugging me is Lewd!?

Welp, joke's on me, I'm the genius trying to poke some fun at this line here.

I would like to point out, if nothing else, it's hard to take the horror being kidnapped and taken advantage of seriously when the catalyst involved allegations of 'Lewding'. The capital L is apparently important here.


Now I am locked up in a bedroom, in Her new home that she somehow bought in Tokyo.

Somehow.

I'm not gonna bother pretending I know anything about Japan's layout, especially when you have to involve a fictional village, but surely, surely, this trip to Tokyo involved moving to another prefecture entirely. No one noticed anything unusual about this trip? A girl clinging to a terrified boy the whole way through, or luggage that emitted muffled screams of help?


My left leg was chained, which extends to the bathroom, here, and the kitchen.

So did the chain come with the apartment, or did no one question the high-school girl buying herself a manacle?


She was not home currently. I tried to remember what did she and I conversed about last time.
"Keiichi-Kun~ Reina wants to go shopping for our needs, OK?~" She asked me.


As opposed to shopping... for... the neighbour's needs...?

-So after Keiichi bravely insults her and receives a slap, he's left alone-

Now it's been hours, no... maybe more... I am completely lost track of time.
Then Suddenly I heard the front door opening and closing. I then heard whoever it was who opened the door walking up the stairs.
"Help..." I said weakly.

Given that this is supposed to be Rena and his... okay, Rena's apartment, it seems weird to obfuscate whoever entered the place like this. How mysterious.

Then I heard a gasping sound from the other side of the bedroom door. It's clearly not her.
Seconds later, the knob was turned and the door opened, revealing a long black haired girl who is probably in her high school year.

gasp omg no way help has arrived

Please don't question why this random high school girl decided to break into someone's apartment for no readily-apparent reason.

"Please... Help me-" I was trying to plead to her so she can free me, though it got interrupted as I saw another figure behind her.
I widen my eyes as the figure raises her right hand, carrying a machete.

Oh, well that can't be Rena then. We all know she uses a billhook, it's like her signature weap-

The poor girl was then sliced from head to groin by the figure I feared so much.
Rena Ryugū.

Ah. Well, uh... that's... that's a really sharp machete, then. Y'know, since it apparently cleaved through a girl's skull, and worked it's way down with no resistance whatsoever?

Is... is Rena stronger than Jason Voorhees?

"She is nobody, Rena. You don't have to-"
"Kill her? Well NO! I KNOW SHE'LL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME, JUST LIKE THOSE 4 SLUTS WHO LEWDED YOU!"


Fits perfectly, doesn't it?

-Rena suddenly gets a headache-

She then puts her hands down, and opens her eyes, revealing the snake slits that she had when she kidnapped me.
"Aha... AAAAHHH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"

I wonder if anyone ever actually notices a change like that, especially with all the hallucinations going around. Somehow I kind of doubt it's an actual, physical change... but then, I also doubt Rena would have the power to smack Jason around like a ragdoll, and look where we are.

"What's wrong!?"
"You're as hard as the others!"

Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"You're just like all those parasites in Ibaraki! Being so stubborn!"

Oh okay yeah that's what I thought you meant.

"And now, you are going to be with me... BY FORCE!" She took her machete.
She raised it, and swung it on me, but I dodged and the machete hits the chain, cutting it off. I then punched her in the head with all my might. She went down instantly.

Well, uh... that escape sure was easy. So that was all it took, huh? tricking the super-powered high-school anime girl into cutting a chain with one swing of her machete, then downing her with one punch, man. At least it's a simple matter to just walk out the front door, huh?

I quickly head out of the room and close the door. Then I walked downstairs to the front door. I turned the knob and...
"Of course It's locked. Why? Why exit?" I asked sarcastically.

Oh, huh. Weird. I guess Rena had time to silently close and lock that door when she followed the schoolgirl into her own apartment. Well, that's fine, just return to her unconscious body, get the key from her pocket, an-

I then begin to search the house for the key, I checked the kitchen, bathroom and living room. The only place that I haven't checked is the basement.

???

Why would the key be anywhere else?! If it's anywhere, it'd be Rena's pocket, Keiichi! If you're gonna faff around like this, at least tie her up or something, gawd.

It's a huge basement, it had 2 rooms, however one of the rooms are filled with dried blood, and had hanged bodies. Is she planning to eat them?

...No? Why would she eat those bodies? ...Why would she be hanging bodies in the basement, anyway?

...Why does an apartment have a basement, let alone one this huge?!

And I looked at the second room. Inside looks like an interior of a church, many seats.

AND HOW THE HELL DID RENA SET ANY OF THIS UP BY HERSELF

And in the end of the room lies 2 mannequins. One wearing a wedding suit with a KEY hung on it's neck as a necklace, and the other wearing a wedding dress.

...Is... is this apartment built by Umbrella or something? Why would Rena keep the key to the front door inside her recreation of a church in the oversized basement of an apartment? How did she have time to enter the apartment, bypass the schoolgirl without being noticed, trek all the way up to the mannequins to hang the key, then return all the way back to Schoolgirl-chan, arm herself with a machete in the meantine, and then kill her in the time it took for that girl to open the door and ask why a young guy was chained to the wall?

Just saying, there might be one or two slight discrepancies going on here.

"Darling! Come back to me!" I heard her calling.
Drat.

Drat, drat and double drat. The killer yandere has woken up. If only he had some way of preventing her from given chase, but alas, that half an hour of free time he had just wasn't enough.

I quickly took the key off the mannequin and just as I turned around...
"Traitor." I saw her, tilting her head, with those snake eyes. I also saw maggots crawling out of her neck.

Author cleverly weaving in the symptoms of Hinamizawa Syndrome into Keiichi's narration to make the maggots look real, or the author deciding the maggots are actually there and crawling out of her... we'll assume she has wounds on her neck. YOU MAKE THE CALL

"Get away from me, Rena!"
"Rena? Who is Rena? My name is Reina!"
I stood still, dumbfounded.

"Seriously is this really the time for your pedantry I'm trying to escape from your murderous clutches here."

"So that Rena had finally fooled you that she is Rena? That's actually a fake name."
I quickly ran and pushed her away, unable to chit chat with her for long.

Well, to be fair, he's probably a little pressed for time. Pushing Rena - sorry, Rena... Reina? Whatever - aside was a bit rude, but hey, we've all got places to be, I suppose. They can chitchat another time.

I then ran back upstairs, and went to the kitchen briefly to take a knife as a weapon, before running to the door and unlock it. Just as I unlocked it, I heard her voice again.
"You really are hard." She grabbed my neck and pins me to the door.

It's cute that Keiichi even bothers getting himself a weapon, considering Rena's super strength, super speed and super stealth. She was pretty broken in that Daybreak game, wasn't she?

Also, Rena, please. I'm starting to think your phrasing is deliberate, here.

-Keiichi stabs her stomach, but the superhuman Rena pulls it out with no trouble at all. So Keiichi totally for realsies promises to be with her forever and ever-

I took the knife quickly, and stabbed her in the right eye.
"We could have been a perfect couple..." Was her last words, as maggots were crawling out of her eye, and she falls backwards.

...That's all? Nothing else to say? No "why though" or "holy fuck this hurts" or even "CRAAAWWWWLLLIIIINNNNG IIINNNNN MY EEEYYYYYEEEEEE"? Feels a bit bland for her last words, to be honest.

It's over. She's dead already.
-Neutral Ending~ Free at Last.

...Well, uh... sure, I guess. Good thing there's no loose ends to tie up in this timeline. Rena's dead, so that's it. No, never mind the two halves of the murdered schoolgirl at the end of the hall (I think that's where she is. This apartment's layout is more fucked than that house in Handshakers), or the bodies hanging in the giant basement. We're all done here.

...Well, there's two more 'endings' toread, and since they're so kind as to start at the bit with Kei pinned to the door, we might as well take a quick look at the Bad and True ends, I suppose.

Chapter 2: Bad end
A/N this is the bad ending.

Thanks, Yuuya.

There's no way I can forgive her, for what she had done all this time.
"I'll pass. There's no way-" I said, but then was silenced with a kiss on my lips.

Just ignore all the blood that's spurting down your throat, given you plunged a knife into this anime Terminator's gut a second ago.

I felt a bunch of slithering things going inside my mouth. After she let go of me, I saw that maggots are crawling out of her mouth.

Seriously though Rena you might want to see someone about that it's not normal to have so many maggots living in your mouth.

-Then Keiichi begins to itch everywhere and maggots crawl out of him-

My vision began to darken, and the last thing I saw is that she cries out blood, and is grinning widely.
"Now you are Reina's property, darling. You're Reina's forever..." Is the last thing I heard.
Then everything went black.
Bad end- Devoured by love.

I feel like killing him is a bit counter-productive to 'owning' him, but hey, what do I know? I lack experience with murderers, psychopaths, and girlfriends.

Time for the True End! Hopefully this is where all the super fun happy times go.

I can't escape. This is already my fate to become her's.
"OK, I promise. Forgive me." With that, she let go of me.
Then I felt an intense pain in my back, and everything went black.

...Did the door punch him? What exactly happened there?

When I woke up, I see that I am in the basement, in the church like area. I looked at myself to see that I am wearing the black wedding suit, and I already wore a ring.
Then I looked at the benches, to see skeletons instead of people sitting there.

I suppose when the groom's unconscious, the wedding reception is a lot more boring than normal, huh?

So wait are these supposed to be the bodies from before? Slight difference between corpses and skellies, y'know.

"Rise and Shine, darling. Who do you love?"
"You."
"Who do you obey?"
"You."
"And who is that?"
"Reina Ryugū"

Is it my general lack of experience talking again, or does these vows seem a tad one-sided.

She then smirked and slaps me in the face. Blood began dripping from my mouth. She then grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her.
"It's Reina Maebara~"
-True end~ Broken and married

...Uh... yay? I think? Uh... sure, okay.

So, uh, wow. That sure was something. Not sure how to feel about the 'true end' being cool with, at bare minimum, domestic abuse, with the implicit and very real threat of bloody murder via Umbrella-sponsored serial killer schoolgirl keeping these two together. I am most definitely sure that this was not a good story, however.

If I can put aside my own dislike for bleak, depressing stories, this story lacked so much detail and logic to everything from it's premise to every action and line of dialogue given, I can't understand what the point of any of this was. Besides, surely you realise that Rena's real charm are her silly noises and quirky speech patterns, speech patterns?

At least Rika can safely ignore this particular loop.

Saturday 11 May 2019

Bleach: Old Story But Totally New I Swear

Still missing Bleach. I am too non-Japanese-speaking to check out the novels, my phone is loaded with too many gacha games to pick up Brave Souls for the third time, and I somehow doubt Burn The Witch will become a series any time soon. Guess it's time to look for some fun, original fanfiction!

Today, let's take a look at Bleach: New Blackness, by Show Expert 1, who is nice enough to assure me this will not copy the source material in any way:

Years have gone by as the war came to an end, but just because one story ends doesn't mean another can't begin. Hiro Hashiru was just a normal teenager until he met a soul reaper and became the newest substitute soul reaper. A new era for soul reapers has started. AN: It is more than just a copy of the original series

See? It's blatantly a sequel work, so it can't possibly copy the same events!

Also, Hiro Hashiru? Uh... are we sure "Hashiru" is a surname? I hate to ask Google these things, but surely verbs don't work as surnames? Might as well just call him Hiro Running for all the sense it makes. Well, I guess Bleach had some wacky names itself, so let's let it slide for now, and dig right in!

In a city known as Kyoto, Japan, a mysterious figured stood at the top of telephone pole.

I wonder why this sounds so familiar. Eh, probably just imagining it.

He wore a black shihakusho with a sword carried around his waist. He had black spikey hair that looked like it was going backwards with his face framed.

'Swept back'. That is the descriptor you are looking for. Because surely it would be 'going backwards' if you looked at any angle. Unless his hair is dictated by a limited animation budget in this literary work.

Upon declaring he can sense evil spirits, we cut to downtown-

A few punks was beaten to the ground. One guy tried attacking, but someone ended up driving his foot into his face. 

A guy attacked, some guy attacked back. For some strange reason, this is all I need to fully visualise the scene in question. I guess it just reminds me of something I saw before?

The guy that was beating them down was about fifteen years old with black spikey hair of his own, but it was shorter and a little wilder.

That way, you can tell him apart from the mysterious figured. Wouldn't want to mix those two up at all.

"Scram!" The guy screamed and it scared them all off. "Bunch of punks. They should know better to never try and pick a fight with me." He grabbed his school bag and started walking.

The other indicator is that this guy is a badass for... beating the shit out of some alleged punks. Er. Good job, dude? I guess we'll take your word that they started it.

'My name is Hiro Hashiru. I live here in Kyoto, Japan.

As opposed to Kyoto... Scotland.

Some people might think I'm a delinquent because I get into fights. It's only because some guys want to mess with me.'

Huh... why does this main character, known for being seen as a delinquent that fights a lot, give me such a strong feeling of déjà vu? I must be getting confused over something.

-Hiro returns home and speaks to his mother-

'The woman in the kitchen is my mother, Julia. It's just me and her. She knows I get into fights and she seems okay with it, but she always wishes I would stop.

That's a... strangely Western name for a Japanese woman. I think she's Japanese, anyway? Nothing's said about her ethnicity, but surely if she was foreign to Japan, it'd be worth noting? Well, I guess it's not impossible.

Also, "I'm okay with you beating the ever-loving fuck out of people, dear. I just wish you'd do it less often."

-He heads to his bedroom to look out the window. Assume it's a pretty bishie pose or something-

'I also have this special gift.' He stared out the window and saw kid running through the streets, but he had a chain on his chest and could go through solid objects. 'I have the ability to see ghosts.

I hate to shatter the flawless facade I've maintained up until now, but if I may point out an issue with Hiro's introduction here, compared to Ichigo's; when we opened up to Ichigo beating people up, we were immediately given context for it:

-It told us immediately he could see dead people
-We were explicitly told and shown evidence the punks were acting disrespectful
-Ichigo fought them on behalf of the dead child, not because they were messing solely with himself.

By contrast, all we've seen of Hiro is that he was allegedly attacked and fought back. His ability to see ghosts hasn't factored into anything, and honestly seems thrown in just to remind us he's supposed to be an Ichigo rip-off.

 I had that for as long as I can remember, but because of that, people think I'm some sort of freak. That's why I get into some fights. Though, I do wonder that if there are really ghosts, what is out there.'

You could always just... not tell people you're seeing ghosts. You're the one that doesn't want fights, remember? And if that's all the reason people need to pick fights with you...

-There is a small scene of Hiro heading to school the next day, and seeing the mysterious figured killing a Hollow. Then he heads home after school. It's quite riveting, I assure you-

'What the hell was all that about? Who was that guy and how did he just disappear?' Hiro thought. That was when he noticed a dark hole formed in his wall and the man from before appeared in front of him. "It's you!"

I would have preceded that with "AH WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT", but hey, I am a bit of a shitbag at heart.

"It's near." He was sensing something and reached for the sword in its sheath, but he was surprised getting kicked in the back by Hiro.
"Hey! Who the hell are you?" Hiro said. "I want some answers. Especially since you just broke into my apartment."
"Did you just kick me?" The guy said as he seemed confused.

Is it too late to pretend I find this eerily familiar with totally no idea why again.

"First, my name is Daijo Kurogo. I'm a soul reaper."
"A what?" Hiro said.
"Better get yourself comfortable. This is a long story." Daijo said.

"Enough to fill out 74 volumes, I'd wager."

Julia was on her way home after doing some shopping. She was about to pull up the street to her apartment, but she wasn't aware that something she couldn't really see was following her.

...Thanks for the one sentence interlude, I guess?

-Daijo explains Hollows and soul Reapers and junk-

"You expect me to really believe me that load of garbage." Hiro said.
"What?! How could you not after what you saw?" Daijo said. "After all, you were the only one earlier who could see what was going on."

To be fair, uh.. yeah actually why is Hiro being a dumbass about this.

-I would cover their conversations in more detail... but seriously, this is almost exactly 1:1 with Bleach's first episode. I'm sure you've all seen the original several times by now, you don't need to see it through the filter of Nick Simmons' fanficition account. Let's cut to them hearing Julia crash the car-

"Mom!" Hiro called out, but Julia was unconscious. Hiro undid the belt and was able to pull her out.

Boy I sure hope she didn't injure her spine in any way.

"Hollows usually go after souls of the departed, but they will sometimes attack living humans." Daijo said. "They're quite drawn to spiritual energy. Now that I think about it, you seem to have a lot of spiritual energy inside. You had so much that it must have blocked my senses from sensing this hollow."
"Say what? Are you saying that thing is really after me?" Hiro said. Hiro saw he was involved now and he's going to do what he always does.

I know Ichigo had a similar mindset at the beginning, but you still knew he was a selfless guy at heart. Reading Hiro's thought processes just makes him sound more dickish about it. I would say it's not necessarily bad to have a less-moral protagonist... if this wasn't so blatantly supposed to be Ichigo 2.0.

"Come on, ugly bastard. You want me? I'm right here." Hiro said and the hollow unleashed its teeth at Hiro.

..So... how does one unleash their teeth? Did it shoot tooth bullets? Did it pluck the teeth out to reveal swords where the roots should be? Did it smile really weirdly?

 Daijo stepped in the way and tried to block the attack. Daijo got bit in the shoulder, but Daijo stabbed it in the neck and pushed it back.
"You fool." Daijo said as he dropped to his knees. "Did you think if you sacrifice yourself, others would be spared? One soul is never enough for them." Daijo crawled to the wall and leaned against it.

One bite and you're already this wrecked? It was already a little strange Rukia was beaten so easily, but Bleach was nothing if not a tad inconsistent with how strong everyone was in relation to each other. It's not like Daijo lost an arm, or he was poisoned, right? You'd except a Soul Reaper to face much worse just from training. Or interacting with Squad 11 in any capacity.

"There's only one thing you can do. Not that it matters, but if this doesn't' work, we're all dead." Daijo said as he held out his sword. "You must take my sword and drive it into your being. By doing that, I can transfer some of my power to you and you can become a soul reaper."

But of course, without contriving Daijo's weakness, we couldn't possibly have the most original scene yet in this story. The passing of the torch, so to speak! The emotional culmination of the hero and the heroi- ... other her's short, but fateful encounter!

"Fine." Hiro said as he grabbed the sword. "By the way, I'm….Hiro Hashiru." 

""...Really? Hashiru? that's a stupid name." Daijo replied, presumably as he lay dying with an encouraging smile."

He drove the sword into him and unleashed tons of spiritual power and pushed the hollow back. When the light was fading away, it showed Hiro as a soul reaper and pulled out his sword. Meanwhile, Daijo was changed into a white clothes.

Does it count as creativity if you don't really mention your sword is way bigger than the other guy's sword? Do we just take that for granted at this point?

"You're done for." Hiro said. Hiro jumped up and slashed down through the hollow's head and had him disintegrated. Daijo was amazed at what he saw.
"I've heard tales of another human like this, but I never thought I actually see something like this." Daijo said. "What kind of human is here?" Hiro stood tall of his victory for he has new powers and new ways to fight.

No, see, it's really a sequel after all! Daijo totally hinted to Ichigo there! DO YOU SEE?!

...Phew. That sure was... wow. I haven't seen a copy/paste this blatant since fucking Korogra. I looked ahead for a few chapters, and... boy did it not get any better. Even as far as chapter 12, it was just a shameless rip-off - with the author wondering why he had no favourites or followers at the time chapter 5 was posted. Almost as if the story already existed in some form, huh?

Well, even if I assume the story eventually becomes it's own thing, that doesn't really change the sheer amount of copying going on. At least this was much low-profile.