Today, let's take a look at Bleach: New Blackness, by Show Expert 1, who is nice enough to assure me this will not copy the source material in any way:
Years have gone by as the war came to an end, but just because one story ends doesn't mean another can't begin. Hiro Hashiru was just a normal teenager until he met a soul reaper and became the newest substitute soul reaper. A new era for soul reapers has started. AN: It is more than just a copy of the original series
See? It's blatantly a sequel work, so it can't possibly copy the same events!
Also, Hiro Hashiru? Uh... are we sure "Hashiru" is a surname? I hate to ask Google these things, but surely verbs don't work as surnames? Might as well just call him Hiro Running for all the sense it makes. Well, I guess Bleach had some wacky names itself, so let's let it slide for now, and dig right in!
In a city known as Kyoto, Japan, a mysterious figured stood at the top of telephone pole.
I wonder why this sounds so familiar. Eh, probably just imagining it.
He wore a black shihakusho with a sword carried around his waist. He had black spikey hair that looked like it was going backwards with his face framed.
'Swept back'. That is the descriptor you are looking for. Because surely it would be 'going backwards' if you looked at any angle. Unless his hair is dictated by a limited animation budget in this literary work.
Upon declaring he can sense evil spirits, we cut to downtown-
A few punks was beaten to the ground. One guy tried attacking, but someone ended up driving his foot into his face.
A guy attacked, some guy attacked back. For some strange reason, this is all I need to fully visualise the scene in question. I guess it just reminds me of something I saw before?
The guy that was beating them down was about fifteen years old with black spikey hair of his own, but it was shorter and a little wilder.
That way, you can tell him apart from the mysterious figured. Wouldn't want to mix those two up at all.
"Scram!" The guy screamed and it scared them all off. "Bunch of punks. They should know better to never try and pick a fight with me." He grabbed his school bag and started walking.
The other indicator is that this guy is a badass for... beating the shit out of some alleged punks. Er. Good job, dude? I guess we'll take your word that they started it.
'My name is Hiro Hashiru. I live here in Kyoto, Japan.
As opposed to Kyoto... Scotland.
Some people might think I'm a delinquent because I get into fights. It's only because some guys want to mess with me.'
Huh... why does this main character, known for being seen as a delinquent that fights a lot, give me such a strong feeling of déjà vu? I must be getting confused over something.
-Hiro returns home and speaks to his mother-
'The woman in the kitchen is my mother, Julia. It's just me and her. She knows I get into fights and she seems okay with it, but she always wishes I would stop.
That's a... strangely Western name for a Japanese woman. I think she's Japanese, anyway? Nothing's said about her ethnicity, but surely if she was foreign to Japan, it'd be worth noting? Well, I guess it's not impossible.
Also, "I'm okay with you beating the ever-loving fuck out of people, dear. I just wish you'd do it less often."
-He heads to his bedroom to look out the window. Assume it's a pretty bishie pose or something-
'I also have this special gift.' He stared out the window and saw kid running through the streets, but he had a chain on his chest and could go through solid objects. 'I have the ability to see ghosts.
I hate to shatter the flawless facade I've maintained up until now, but if I may point out an issue with Hiro's introduction here, compared to Ichigo's; when we opened up to Ichigo beating people up, we were immediately given context for it:
-It told us immediately he could see dead people
-We were explicitly told and shown evidence the punks were acting disrespectful
-Ichigo fought them on behalf of the dead child, not because they were messing solely with himself.
By contrast, all we've seen of Hiro is that he was allegedly attacked and fought back. His ability to see ghosts hasn't factored into anything, and honestly seems thrown in just to remind us he's supposed to be an Ichigo rip-off.
I had that for as long as I can remember, but because of that, people think I'm some sort of freak. That's why I get into some fights. Though, I do wonder that if there are really ghosts, what is out there.'
You could always just... not tell people you're seeing ghosts. You're the one that doesn't want fights, remember? And if that's all the reason people need to pick fights with you...
-There is a small scene of Hiro heading to school the next day, and seeing the mysterious figured killing a Hollow. Then he heads home after school. It's quite riveting, I assure you-
'What the hell was all that about? Who was that guy and how did he just disappear?' Hiro thought. That was when he noticed a dark hole formed in his wall and the man from before appeared in front of him. "It's you!"
I would have preceded that with "AH WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT", but hey, I am a bit of a shitbag at heart.
"It's near." He was sensing something and reached for the sword in its sheath, but he was surprised getting kicked in the back by Hiro.
"Hey! Who the hell are you?" Hiro said. "I want some answers. Especially since you just broke into my apartment."
"Did you just kick me?" The guy said as he seemed confused.
Is it too late to pretend I find this eerily familiar with totally no idea why again.
"First, my name is Daijo Kurogo. I'm a soul reaper."
"A what?" Hiro said.
"Better get yourself comfortable. This is a long story." Daijo said.
"Enough to fill out 74 volumes, I'd wager."
Julia was on her way home after doing some shopping. She was about to pull up the street to her apartment, but she wasn't aware that something she couldn't really see was following her.
...Thanks for the one sentence interlude, I guess?
-Daijo explains Hollows and soul Reapers and junk-
"You expect me to really believe me that load of garbage." Hiro said.
"What?! How could you not after what you saw?" Daijo said. "After all, you were the only one earlier who could see what was going on."
To be fair, uh.. yeah actually why is Hiro being a dumbass about this.
-I would cover their conversations in more detail... but seriously, this is almost exactly 1:1 with Bleach's first episode. I'm sure you've all seen the original several times by now, you don't need to see it through the filter of Nick Simmons' fanficition account. Let's cut to them hearing Julia crash the car-
"Mom!" Hiro called out, but Julia was unconscious. Hiro undid the belt and was able to pull her out.
Boy I sure hope she didn't injure her spine in any way.
"Hollows usually go after souls of the departed, but they will sometimes attack living humans." Daijo said. "They're quite drawn to spiritual energy. Now that I think about it, you seem to have a lot of spiritual energy inside. You had so much that it must have blocked my senses from sensing this hollow."
"Say what? Are you saying that thing is really after me?" Hiro said. Hiro saw he was involved now and he's going to do what he always does.
I know Ichigo had a similar mindset at the beginning, but you still knew he was a selfless guy at heart. Reading Hiro's thought processes just makes him sound more dickish about it. I would say it's not necessarily bad to have a less-moral protagonist... if this wasn't so blatantly supposed to be Ichigo 2.0.
"Come on, ugly bastard. You want me? I'm right here." Hiro said and the hollow unleashed its teeth at Hiro.
..So... how does one unleash their teeth? Did it shoot tooth bullets? Did it pluck the teeth out to reveal swords where the roots should be? Did it smile really weirdly?
Daijo stepped in the way and tried to block the attack. Daijo got bit in the shoulder, but Daijo stabbed it in the neck and pushed it back.
"You fool." Daijo said as he dropped to his knees. "Did you think if you sacrifice yourself, others would be spared? One soul is never enough for them." Daijo crawled to the wall and leaned against it.
One bite and you're already this wrecked? It was already a little strange Rukia was beaten so easily, but Bleach was nothing if not a tad inconsistent with how strong everyone was in relation to each other. It's not like Daijo lost an arm, or he was poisoned, right? You'd except a Soul Reaper to face much worse just from training. Or interacting with Squad 11 in any capacity.
"There's only one thing you can do. Not that it matters, but if this doesn't' work, we're all dead." Daijo said as he held out his sword. "You must take my sword and drive it into your being. By doing that, I can transfer some of my power to you and you can become a soul reaper."
But of course, without contriving Daijo's weakness, we couldn't possibly have the most original scene yet in this story. The passing of the torch, so to speak! The emotional culmination of the hero and the heroi- ... other her's short, but fateful encounter!
"Fine." Hiro said as he grabbed the sword. "By the way, I'm….Hiro Hashiru."
""...Really? Hashiru? that's a stupid name." Daijo replied, presumably as he lay dying with an encouraging smile."
He drove the sword into him and unleashed tons of spiritual power and pushed the hollow back. When the light was fading away, it showed Hiro as a soul reaper and pulled out his sword. Meanwhile, Daijo was changed into a white clothes.
Does it count as creativity if you don't really mention your sword is way bigger than the other guy's sword? Do we just take that for granted at this point?
"You're done for." Hiro said. Hiro jumped up and slashed down through the hollow's head and had him disintegrated. Daijo was amazed at what he saw.
"I've heard tales of another human like this, but I never thought I actually see something like this." Daijo said. "What kind of human is here?" Hiro stood tall of his victory for he has new powers and new ways to fight.
No, see, it's really a sequel after all! Daijo totally hinted to Ichigo there! DO YOU SEE?!
...Phew. That sure was... wow. I haven't seen a copy/paste this blatant since fucking Korogra. I looked ahead for a few chapters, and... boy did it not get any better. Even as far as chapter 12, it was just a shameless rip-off - with the author wondering why he had no favourites or followers at the time chapter 5 was posted. Almost as if the story already existed in some form, huh?
Well, even if I assume the story eventually becomes it's own thing, that doesn't really change the sheer amount of copying going on. At least this was much low-profile.
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