Tuesday, 17 May 2016

BlazBlue: Chaos Silliness Extend

I am a master of procrastination.

So, here's chapter two of Heart of Chaos. It should be super fun to read through.

I quickly made my way down a street my target was said to frequent a lot; it was quiet, except for the small sounds of shops being opened up. I stopped and ducked into an ally, peeking around the corner to see if he was coming yet. "Hmm, no sign of him yet"

Ya know, early morning or not, a half-white cloak made of wings that came from two girls is not something you want to wear while hiding. It's a wee bit very visible, no matter what alley you're peeking from.

 "well of course he's not hear yet, were probably too early!" Nova yelled in my head, leaving a painfully loud echo through my mind."Nova, don't just blurt things out like that, it causes Hikari migraines" Aegis quietly said in a gentle tone

Well... a downside's a downside, I suppose. Not that those two girls make any kind of sense, anyway.

 "oh yeah, Aegis! If it weren't for him screaming, we could have gotten some more sleep and gotten hear at the right time instead of having to wait!"

...You also could have went straight back to sleep. Or wait a little longer before leaving? You sure as hell weren't in a hurry during breakfast.

"Nova! You know that the nightmares aren't his fault! You know what he has to deal with, and yet you act like you don't even care!" Aegis snapped back, Aegis wasn't the type to get angry, but when she does, you better watch out.

Yeah man, better watch out. Don't wanna make Aegis angry. She might raise her voice. We can't subject anyone to that. Think of the children.

"How dare you say something like that! Of course I care about Hikari! All I'm saying is that he can try not to be so loud!"

"It's not like he has a traumatic past or anything!"

"Will you two please stop arguing!" I peeked around the corner to make sure that no one had heard me, good, no one was their still. After I had said that, Aegis and Nova stayed quiet, and it was gilt was getting to me

You're feeling guilty for asking two annoying girls to stop literally screaming into your brain? Don't be that kind of MC, dude.

-Some totally heartfelt apologies later-

 I couldn't help but feel even worse for yelling at them, Nova was speaking in such a kind tone, and Aegis was even quieter when she spoke. I was about to say something, when I heard the sound of loud footsteps trekking through the street.

Yeah, I guess rightfully telling them to not hurt your brain was a terrible thing to do, after all.

I looked over the corner, and I saw him, a large, bald headed man wearing a black and red striped vest and black pants with rips in them, another noticeable thing were the strange gloves on his hands, Solid black with white lines running through them and large, red metal plates with a strange symbol on the knuckles.


"Their he is, today's target" I gripped my blades as I prepared for what I was about to do. I silently ran to the target, and kicked him in the back.

...Uh, Hikari. Swords? Those blades in your hand? They might do more damage than a wimpy kick.

After I did that, it took a few seconds, but he turned around, anger in his eyes, I then quickly dashed back to the ally, I could hear loud footsteps behind me.

Just to reiterate, our main character, whose profession is being an assassin, has snuck up behind his target, kicked him despite holding two swords, and then immediately ran way.

 I then ran into one of the dark corners of the ally, and instantly disappeared. In a few minutes the target was finally in the same area I was, he ran a bit father ahead, and stopped to look around. He was confused, good, that'll make this easier.

You know what also could have made this easier? Slicing the guys' spine like a baguette when he had his back to you.

"Vice terrow, you have been convicted for the murder of ten people, by the order of the N.O.L, I have come to execute you" I stood their watching him, he didn't say anything, didn't even move.

Yeah, if a self-proclaimed assassin did everything in their power to announce his presence, and look like an Inuyasha* cosplayer gone horrifically wrong, I'd be frozen with sheer disbelief, too.

*I know he's a dog demon, but still.

"Uh, hello" The next thing I know, he turns around, and throws a punch at me. I easily sidestepped it, and his punch headed for the ground, the thing that I wasn't expecting though, was an explosion the very same spot his fist touched.

Given Hikari's proximity to this explosion, as well as Baldy McPunchdude, I can only assume both died in a terrible inferno. Filled with fire and stone.

"What the heck was that!" Nova yelled in my head, and I would have said something, if I weren't thinking the same thing. Vice slowly got up, and turned around, fist in a defensive position in front of his body, it was then that I was able to see the strange markings on his gloves, they were pictures of bombs.

...So doodling Bomberman icons give his gloves super powers? Is that how the weapons in BlazBlue work? Does Bolverk have little doodles of lasers on the side?

"Oh dang!, That's an armagus on his hands, how'd he manage to get that! Nova yelled again. "Well, I heard a report a few weeks ago that someone broke into a lab and stole an experimental armagus; he must have been the one that broke in" 

Why would they even be developing gloves that explode? Did no one see the fatal flaw in that design choice waaaaaaayyyyyy back during the ideas pitch?

 I quickly changed the way I held my swords so the blades were pointing outward. I then held then out in front of me in a battle stance, I then started to focus energy into them, dark energy started to envelop the black blade while light energy enveloped the white blade.

But what good is violet and brown energy going to do at this point?!

After seeing what I was doing. Vice pulled his fist up, and began running at me. I then readied my swords, and right when he was about to hit me, I parried his blow, and dashed right past him with my swords in front of me, energy starting to vanish from the blades.

Boy, it's a good thing his exploding gloves didn't explode when you parried. Awfully convenient, there.
Also, why did you need to make your swords glow to do that? Does it raise your competency at actually assassinating someone?

For a few seconds, vice didn't move, but he then suddenly fell to the ground. After that, I slowly put my swords back in the sheathes "Target exterminated . . . . ."

I can just see the kanji smashing onto the screen now. So badass. So ultra cool.

"Okay, we better get the body back to base, but first . . . . ." I lifted up one of his hands, and took the glove of, then the other one "the N.O.L will be happy to get these back"

If only so they can bury the evidence of ever developing such impractical weapons.

I put the gloves away in my jacket, and looked at the body of the once living Vice 

"The body of the once-living" has got to be the most redundant sentence I've come across in a good while.

"all right, time for the body" I held my hand out, and black, shadowy chains shot out of the palm of my hand, and quickly wrapped around the body, I gripped the chains, and pulled them up, and they pulled the body up with no difficulty at all.

Good thing the not-Ouroboros chains completely eliminate weight, then.

After flying for a while carrying vice's body, I finally made it to my destination, the N.O.L head quarters

I like to imagine the body dangling several feet below, and bumping into the occasional chimney or something. Thank you for this image, fanfic.

 I put my wings around me again to form my black and white cloak, and with Vice's chained up body trailing behind me, I then quietly snuck through the front gate and silently ran into a familiar hallway

So this master assassin ran straight into the entrance of the place he works at, while dragging a corpse behind him, and wearing that stupid black/white cloak. With absolutely no one around to see this.

I was quickly walking as fast as I could, a lot of people know about the assassins of the N.O.L, and we weren't exactly greeted with open arms if we were seen, if you know what I mean, so it's best that we try and not be seen here as much as possible.

I would ask how anyone would even know you're part of the NOL's assassination team, or why they're so taboo, but... I think Hikari is a good answer to those questions.

I slowed down my pace as I turned and started up a large stair case with different rooms on the side's, I didn't have to worry about others walking through and seeing me, since it was still early in the morning and not many others have been coming up here lately since the incident.

I'm not gonna bother trying to remember the details of this game's plot, but I get the feeling Ragna never attacked their central HQ. It was wherever the Murakumos were being kept. I'm sure there's still thousands of employees around to see you dragging a corpse around.

The room that I entered was large with filing cabinets pressed against each of the walls, and in the middle was a desk where a man with green hair was sitting at. 

Well, at least we finally meet a canon character.

"Ah, Mr. Shinzo, good to see you again" he then angled his head a bit and looked at the chained body that I had placed on the floor in front of his desk "and by the looks of this, you've completed the job with perfect results, good work as usual"

> Completely fails to kill the guy without instigating a fight
> Said guy uses exploding gloves. With explosions that failed to attract attention from anyone
> Hikari flew in the air, completely unobscured, with this guy dangling below him
> Dragged his corpse into a building that should be filled with tons of witnesses

Yeah man 10/10.

"Thank you, captain Hazama" I was starting to feel uneasy as he looked at me, for some reason, I always felt like that whenever I talked with captain Hazama, but since he is the head of the intelligence department, I had no choice, and the feeling always went away after I left.

Can't possibly imagine why.

 "He had these on as well" I pulled out the glove armagus that Vice had on, and placed them on captain Hazama's desk, he picked them up, and examined them for a few moments, then placed them back on his desk.

Where they promptly exploded.


"Ah, very good, this was the armagus that was stolen from one of the research labs weeks ago, to think, that you would accomplish two things in one mission, im very impressed."

...You mean recovering those gloves wasn't even the point? Why did they want him dead, then?

 I was about to reply, when I heard someone else walk through the door, I gripped one of my swords, and turned around, only to be surprised by who it was.

Well, no wonder you NOL assassins aren't well liked. There's literally no reason to expect an attack and you go for your swords?

It was a girl with short brown hair with white on the ends; she had on a black beret on her head and she wore a black cloak over her body. As she walked over to captain Hazama's
Desk, she looked at me with hazel colored eyes and memories of my days at the academy flooded back to my mind.

Putting aside my fears that the author was going to introduce a romance between his OC and Best Girl, I have to at least appreciate that he's using the not-stupid outfit for her.

"Ah, Ms. Nanaya, so good of you to join us" she looked at me again, only this time with a look of suspicion on her face. "Uh, captain Hazama, who is this?"

I know he looks utterly ridiculous, but there's no need to be so judgemental. It's not like he dragged a dead body along the ground on his way there or anything.

 After she asked that, the smile on captain Hazama's face grew bigger "Ah of course, well let me introduce you, Ms. Makoto, to the top assassin called the Chaotic Nightmare."


After he had said that, she looked down at the body that was laying on the floor, then she took a couple of quick steps back, and looked at me with horror, it made me sick inside to see the look on her face, she's one of my best friends, and now she's looking at me like some kind of monster.

Take a closer look in the mirror, man. You're making Hazama look subtle.

Also, goddamnit don't force your way into Makoto's backstory! It's not one you can just easily slip into!

"Captain Hazama! Why would you call me into the same room as an assassin!?" She now had a desperate look on her face, as if trying to get away from a great evil, and seeing that, it felt like I punched in the stomach. "Now, now, theirs no need to be so scared Ms. Makoto, now, the reason that I called you hear, is because I have a mission for the both of you. After he said that, I felt like I was going to fall down.

And with that shocking twist of a paragraph, the story comes to an end. Not really sure what made the author drop this, but I can't say it had much promise. It was utterly ridiculous through-and-through, trying way too hard to be cool, and the whole 'tortured protag' routine is not going well. Thank god this timeline was erased.